"ABC"

...is NOT as easy as 1-2-3, but new House minority leader Hakeem Jeffries did an OK job with his "ABCs of Democracy" speech, I guess. (I totally coulda done better, though...)

Wasn’t sure what image to use again this week, so here’s 2022 Scripps spelling bee champion and pride of San Antonio Harini Logan at the White House, in front of some American flags. First Scripps Cup winner to do it in a spell-off. Wining werd: moorhen.

GOOD NEWS FIRST: I wanted to recommend subscribing to Letters from an American, which is one of the most popular newsletters Substack hosts. It’s written by Boston College American history professor Heather Cox Richardson, who writes about current events from a practical—and only slightly partisan—historian’s point of view.

Wednesday evening’s edition was particularly enlightening, and heartening. It analyzes and provides examples of how the current presidential administration has shifted the government’s collective focus on how to build the American economy. Their idea is to build “from the bottom up and the middle out” instead of relying on corporations and individuals at the top to do their thing and hope it benefits everybody else.

According to Richardson’s analysis, Operation: BUMO (the new pet name I just now came up with for the “bottom up, middle out” approach) is working:

“For 40 years the Republican Party offered a vision of America as a land of hyperindividualism, in which any government intervention in the economy was seen hampering the accumulation of wealth and thus as an attack on individual liberty. The government stopped working for ordinary Americans, and perhaps not surprisingly, many of them have stopped supporting it. Biden refused to engage with the Republicans on the terms of their cultural wars and has instead reclaimed the idea that government can actually work for the good of all by keeping the economic playing field level for everyone.

Biden and members of his administration are taking to the road to tout their successes to the country, especially to those places most skeptical of the government. If they can bring the Republican base around to support their economic policies, they will have realigned the nation as profoundly as did FDR and Theodore Roosevelt before them.”

Sounds a bit over-optimistic that future generations might mention Biden in the same breath as either Roosevelt, but hey…I’d love for them to come to my skeptical-of-the-government part of the country and get a few folks to buy into the BUMO initiative.

Here’s the full article:

January 25, 2023

Not that Joe is perfect, or super-awesome, or even regular-awesome or anything, but, c’mon: he’s doing a pretty good job for us average everyday Americans. And as Richardson points out, so much of the benefit of the BUMO Program™ (I just trademarked it, call me Joe!) goes to red states, despite many of their representatives in the House and Senate fighting against their constituents receiving that benefit.

Sometimes I really do feel like our political predicament here in America can be explained as easily as:

1. We only have two parties.

2. Yes, both parties are beholden to big-money special interests.

3. In practice, most Republicans fight for the rich, the powerful, and the corporations, while…

4. …in practice, most Democrats fight for average everyday Americans—the ones who actually need advocates in positions of power.

So. Until we can reform the system somehow, we have to support those in power who at least say they intend to fight for everybody, not just the Carlton McMoneybags asshats who fund their campaigns.

AND NOW THE BAD NEWS:

Eh, I’m not in the mood for bad news today. Let’s skip it.

Anybody know anybody who lives in the following Tennessee county seats?

1. Woodbury (Cannon Cty)

2. Celina (Clay Cty—Celina, I just learned, is the only incorporated city in the county!)

3. Crossville (Cumberland Cty)

4. Smithville (DeKalb Cty)

5. Jamestown (Fentress Cty)

6. Gainesboro (Jackson Cty)

7. Lafayette (Macon Cty)

8. Livingston (Overton Cty)

9. Byrdstown (Pickett Cty)

10. Cookeville (Putnam Cty)

11. Carthage (Smith Cty)

12. Gallatin (Sumner Cty)

13. Hartsville (Trousdale Cty)

14. Sparta (White Cty)

15. Spencer (Van Buren Cty)

Parts of four other Tennessee counties, including mine, Davidson, combine with these 15 counties to make up Tennessee’s 6th congressional district, currently represented in the U.S. House of Representatives by insurrectionist John Rose of Cookeville.

Not to short-change Davidson, Scott, Warren, or Wilson Counties, but 15 seems like a nice round number—I’m going to focus on learning about and connecting with the citizens residing in these 15 communities for the ongoing outreach project I mentioned last week.

I mean…I wonder if folks in these towns are happy Rose took the stand he did on January 6, 2021 (actually the wee hours of January 7), to vote against certifying the 2020 presidential election. I wouldn’t be surprised if he now says he was just offering up a ceremonial protest or something. (I haven’t researched his stance then, or his stance now. Which is something I should do, probably!)

I also have yet to actually connect with anyone in these towns, so (*here he goes again*) I’m just editorializing again this week. But I’m still committed to finding out what makes these towns, and those who live in these towns, unique. What their wants and needs and hopes and dreams are.

So the hopelessly oversimplistic and idealistic theory I intend to prove right or wrong is: That the vast majority of Tennesseans in this massively gerrymandered 6th District aren’t far-right (or far-left) and simply want a fair shot at happiness and healthfulness—without depriving anyone else of those same opportunities.

Or something like that. We’ll see!

And finally…

The progressive political action committee MoveOn (one of those “PACs” you hear so much mixed messaging about) wants folks to pay $30 for a poster version of the above. It’s a commemoration of Hakeem Jeffries’ “ABCs of Democracy” speech he gave before dutifully (like he had a choice) handing over the coveted gavel to freshly elected Speaker of the House Kevin McCarthy.

And…I mean, I’ve always liked Jeffries OK, and I started liking him a lot more when I saw him deliver this speech live at whatever wee-hours-of-the-morning time he delivered it. (The historic—historic in a bad way—15th vote that was finally the ticket for McCarthy technically went down in the wee hours of Saturday, January 7, not January 6 as the poster suggests. Sorry MoveOn, just the copy editor in me talkin’!)

But I don’t know, I just think it went down better in spoken form. In order to have received the level of acclaim it’s gotten, the actual words chosen should’ve been about 30% or so better in my semi-professional opinion, y’know?

Not that I feel like taking the time to actually come up with better lines myself, mind you. But I do very much feel like analyzing each entry and complaining about the ones I think were just *meh*. (Or if not *meh* then at least not quite worthy of the elevated praise the speech is getting as being a timeless rallying cry right up there with “I Have a Dream” and the Gettysburg Address.)

But before I bitch and moan to close out this week’s CeeGees…I didn’t even mention what everyone should be mentioning first and foremost about this whole voting-for-Speaker scene that happened at the beginning of the month.

The nonsense surrounding Kevin McCarthy’s inability to rally his party totally overshadowed the biggest story—that Jeffries is the first African-American to lead any chamber of Congress. The fact we’ve already had a Black president and a half-Black vice president kind of diluted that development from being big news, I guess?

I’d love to think that maybe it’s good news that it isn’t a bigger story that Jeffries is Black. As in, “Yeah, he’s Black, so what? We have Black quarterbacks, Black Oscar winners, Black presidents, Black vice presidents, Black congressional leaders…we’re all good now!”

Yeah. I’d love to think that. But I don’t. Not just yet.

But anyway. Below is searing letter-by-letter criticism of the historic “ABCs of Democracy” speech made by the minority leader of the United States House of Representatives on January 7, 2023. Delivered by a guy with a journalism degree from Indiana University and…well that’s about it.

Thanks for reading!

Yours,
~Dean

1. American values over autocracy,

   1. Now see, right away I think you need to lead off with something stronger than the vague “American values.”

2. benevolence over bigotry,

   1. “Benevolence,” sure, we need to be nice to each other, but there’s gotta be a B-word with more teeth we could use…

3. the Constitution over the cult,

   1. I just think that those two C-words (get your minds out of the gutter!) are such different things…kind of apples to oranges when you’re trying for apples to apples.

4. democracy over demagogues,

   1. OK, I had to look up the precise definition of “demagogue,” I pretty much knew what it was but…it’s kind of a weird correlation because “a political leader who seeks support by appealing to the desires and prejudices of ordinary people rather than by using rational argument” is not at all what we want, of course, but a demagogue wouldn’t necessarily be against democracy, would he? He (or she, but likely he, because women aren’t such dicks) mainly just wants everybody to follow him. If they did, whether under false pretenses or not, then he’d think it’d be A-OK for democracy to kick in, right? I dunno…

5. economic opportunity over extremism,

   1. OK I’ll stop moaning about the two things not being perfect foils for one another.

6. freedom over fascism,

   1. No quarrels with this one!

7. governing over gaslighting,

   1. This one works on all levels too, you all will be happy to know…

8. hopefulness over hatred,

   1. I like it.

9. inclusion over isolation,

   1. Yes, especially when talking about foreign policy.

10. justice over judicial overreach,

    1. This one’s for you, SCOTUS!

11. knowledge over kangaroo courts,

    1. “Kangaroo courts,” huh? Let’s look up what kangaroo courts are. I mean, I’ve heard of them, I know they’re not great, but…oh, right, like when people decide someone’s guilty based on baloney. OK, that’s fine. But let the record show (the record no one gives a flying frig about) that I had to look up “kangaroo courts” before I could give the thumbs-up on this one, and most people don’t have time to pause the YouTube video to look shit up, so…

12. liberty over limitation,

    1. Sure.

13. maturity over Mar-a-Lago,

    1. This one really bothered me, because I don’t want “Mar-a-Lago” to be immortalized in a historic speech on the floor of the House. It’s better to just imply, to stick to all-inclusive concepts rather than mention specific people or places. Because now someone who voted for Trump in ‘16 and/or ‘20 will feel singled out. Whereas the previous dozen of these, I don’t see how anybody who’s not an extreme MAGAn (or an extreme leftist) could argue with ‘em. Plus, M’s a popular letter, there’s gotta be a better M-word!

14. normalcy over negativity,

    1. Ugh, I know I said I’d stop moaning when the two things don’t match up but geez…this one seems particularly lazy, Mr. or Ms. Speechwriter!

15. opportunity over obstruction,

    1. Sure thing.

16. people over politics,

    1. THE BEST ONE.

17. quality of life issues over QAnon,

    1. Same complaint as #13. Plus…”quality-of-life” needs to be hyphenated when appearing BEFORE A NOUN I’M JUST SAYING.

18. reason over racism,

    1. Fudge yeah.

19. substance over slander,

    1. Double-fudge yeah.

20. triumph over tyranny,

    1. “Triumph” is lazy, too. But go on, bring us home!

21. understanding over ugliness,

    1. Maybe the second-best one.

22. voting rights over voter suppression,

    1. Can’t argue with that.

23. working families over the well-connected,

    1. Yes, please. Although…go ahead and be well-connected, just do good things for the rest of us once you exploit those connex. (Just refraining from doing bad things isn’t good enough, by the way…)

24. xenial over xenophobia,

    1. See, this is where I would’ve cheated and used some better word that just has an X in it, like “eXceptional”…but sure, make everybody look up “xenial” why-don’t-you. If they’ve stuck with you this far…..

25. ‘yes, we can’ over ‘you can’t do it,’

    1. *Sigh*

26. zealous representation over zero-sum confrontation.” 

    1. I actually like this one. It’s said with a wink, and the detail makes for a sharp sign-off.

So by my tally there were 15 good entries and 11 bad entries.

That’s good, Rep. Jeffries…BUT NOT GOOD ENOUGH.

P.S. Just kidding that’s totally good enough and I’m just messing around, trying to be confrontational to pick up a few more sets of eyeballs. Now please enjoy the following fascinating non-lip-synched performance from Michael Jackson with the Jackson 5 (who I can’t promise are likewise not miming)…