SHH #3: "You Never Can Tell" (Nov-3-22)
SHH #3: "You Never Can Tell" (Nov-3-22)
Somethin's Happenin' Here...and what it is ain't exactly clear, so let's talk about VOTING TUESDAY! And how to maybe help others vote. Plus, in The Music Box: Let's settle the obvious.
WHAT’S HAPPENING: The midterm elections of 2022. Election Day’s on Tuesday. The media reports as if the votes are already counted and the all-MAGA Congress has already been sworn in.
Nonsense! Especially if you’re in battleground states like Michigan, Wisconsin, or Nevada—or even red states like Idaho and Wyoming—because Election Day registrations are allowed in those and many more states! And there’s still time to encourage folks in all states and territories to vote right up until the polls close Tuesday night.
As a certain pop-culture political personality (who I’m about to talk a lot more about) said recently:
“Aren’t you tired of nothing getting done? All this deadlock bullshit? One way to undo this logjam is to give Democrats a chance to pass legislation and let’s see how it works out. Maybe it won’t work. Maybe they’ve got bad ideas. But no idea and no decision is paralyzing and hurts the country.”
ICYMI, my name is Michael Moore.
“Heyyy, looks like you lost a lotta weight, MICHAEL MOORE, hahaha. Where’s yer Detroit Tigers ballcap??”
(*sigh*) No, not that Michael Moore. As I also mention in the CeeGees: Ideas “About” section, I go by Dean Moore—which I decided on in kinda the same way this guy jokes that he did for his stage name:
When I moved to L.A. in the early 2000s, and eventually (very illegally) moved into the recording studio my band was paying for with its record company advance, I established a land line there in my given name.
Going unlisted cost more, so when the 2004 presidential election drew near, proto-MAGA folks from across the U.S. decided the Michael Moore in the Los Angeles County phone book with the North Hollywood number must be the Michael Moore. Namely, the documentarian who, they surmised, wanted to take people’s guns just because of that one measly time those two crazy Columbine High School punks shot up their school.
Plus, he just haaaaaad to berate George Dubya in front of a giant, live, worldwide TV audience. And for what? Because Junior was cleaning out the WMDs from the Middle East and spreading democracy across the globe?? (Ironically, in a couple days many of these same folks will probably be voting for candidates running on thinly veiled anti-democratic platforms.)
So the voicemails I got that election cycle—from North Carolinians, North Dakotans, Eastern Oregonians—ranged from (I’m paraphrasing, but not by much) “I can’t wait to see you back on TV cryin’ in yer kombucha when the Democrats lose in November” to “If you put out one more movie, I’m gonna come find you and make damn sure you don’t put out another’n after that.”
But anyway.
I absolutely DO NOT agree with Michael Moore—the filmmaker, podcaster, and activist—100% of the time. Or even the vast majority of the time. I do agree with his overall principles a modest majority of the time, but he’s often way too extreme in his thinking for my tastes.
For instance, here’s an article I wrote responding to an episode of the podcast Rumble with Michael Moore. I already hated (and still hate) the notion of “defunding” the police. Not because we don’t need to make some hard decisions about the kind of policing we want to have as a society (fewer tanks, more social work, I say). It’s mainly because of the awful connotation that word, defund, carries with it.
The only word that’s done more damage in the recent political landscape was Hillary’s deplorables.
But here Michael invited a guest on Rumble who—quite arrogantly, IMHO—not only wanted to defund the police (like, all-the-way defund), but abolish prisons altogether. He (and Michael, to an extent) made fun of people for asking obvious questions like, “Well where will all the murderers go?” But instead of forthrightly answering those questions, the guest just doubled down on how unfair the current prison system is to people of color. Which of course is horrifyingly true and must be prioritized and fixed—but not at all costs.
So, that episode was not the best way for the guy to prove his point and recruit people into his line of thinking.
Michael’s heart is in the right place, though. Case in point: "Mike's Midterm Tsunami of Truth" Campaign here on Substack.
As The Guardian’s Edward Helmore explains in a recent feature on Michael:
“For the past month, Academy Award-winning documentary maker Michael Moore has been emailing out a daily missive, Mike’s Midterm Tsunami of Truth, on why he believes Democrats will win big in America’s midterm elections next month.
Moore calls it ‘a brief, honest daily dose of the truth—and the real optimism these truths offer us.’ It also—at this moment in time—flies in the face of most political punditry, which sees a Republican win in the cards.”
The nugget in today’s Tsunami of Truth that really got me is the fact that 19 states plus D.C.—damn-near half the country!—allow you to walk right up to your polling place on Election Day and register to vote before actually voting:
I had no idea!
And look at those states! These aren’t just the hippie-dippy, namby-pamby blue states. These are some of the states whose outcomes will be the most consequential in this Most Important Election in the History of History. We’re talkin’ Wisconsin, Michigan, Nevada, Colorado…even conservative states like Idaho, Utah, and the state that just shit-canned Rep. Liz Cheney for siding with democracy over St. Donald—Wyoming.
So here are a few questions for you, and then maybe you can pass this newsletter entry on to some other folks who might be on the fence about voting in this election (or just ask them the questions yourself!).
Series of Questions #1:
Are you registered?
If not, do you live in one of the above-listed states (or D.C.)?
If so, do any of the following issues seem to warrant gritting your teeth and reserving some time on Tuesday to go vote?
I’d add retaining American democracy to the list as well, but the above are the top issues, in order, as polled by Gallup recently.
If any of these do trip your trigger, then allow me to echo Michael Moore’s pep talk: Consider voting just this one last time. You can go back to non-voting and blissful ignorance afterwards.
Series of Questions #2:
Do you have a plan for voting Tuesday?
If not, this Vote411 page is über-helpful.
Tools are available on this page to get you registered if your state still allows.
Find out if you might even still be allowed to early- and/or absentee-vote. In highest-of-profile Michigan, for example, you can go register, get an absentee ballot, and early-vote right up through Election Day Eve!
Find out where you’ll be voting, what voting machines your precinct uses, what else you need to bring, etc.
Study up on the candidates and referendums on your ballot.
I believe it was noted civics scholar “Iron” Mike Tyson who said, “Everyone thinks they have a plan to vote on Election Day until the kids get sick, something comes up at work, or it rains.”
OK never mind, I said that. But it was based on something Mike said about a boxing opponent who thought they had a surefire way to beat him entering into the fight:
“Everyone has a plan until they get punched in the mouth.”
Similarly (kinda), if you don’t carve out the most likely time of day on Tuesday that’ll work best for you to head to your polling place, and things come up that veer you off course? If you’re like me, that supposedly-top-of-the-priority-list item has a way of slipping, slipping, slipping down—and perhaps even off—the schedule.
So. Visualize a plan for voting Tuesday. Hell, even write it down on something. And forward this newsletter to folks who may or may not have a similar plan…or don’t intend to vote at all.
Getting even one or two more people to vote who hadn’t planned on it means something. Personally, I think it’s well worth it.
Below is a list of Michael’s truth tsunamis through Thursday, November 3. Even if you lean conservative, they might provide some worthwhile insight for you on the perspective of the “other side.” Which is something I hope you’d be willing to consider.
Perspective from the “other side” is something I hope everybody’s still willing to consider moving forward, no matter what the outcome is on Tuesday. (That’s kinda what CeeGees: Ideas is all about, really…)
Yours,
~Dean
Mike’s Midterm Tsunami of Truths:
Truth #1: The Campaign
Truth #2: Even a kid from 4th hour Trig class can beat this crowd
Truth #3: The Haters, the Bigots and the Supremacists Always Lose in the End
Truth #4: Introducing The Whackadoodle 10
Truth #5: Trump is not the Big Bad Wolf. But he is very afraid of You.
Truth #6: The Easy-to-Digest Republican Party Platform
Truth #7: Biden, Don’t F**k with Me
Truth #8: If you’re not registered, you can’t Roe, Roe, Roe the Vote!
Truth #9: Why will we win? Because the American people hate fascism.
Truth #10: Meet Blake Masters, Whackadoodle No. 9
Truth #11: 147 Reasons We Will Win on November 8th
Truth #12: Biden just gave us a boost and a toke.
Truth #13: Women. That’s it.
Truth #14: If the Mainstream Media Thinks There’s a Chance We May Be Right about Roevember, Watch Out.
Truth #15: Republican candidate for Governor of Pennsylvania, Whackadoodle No. 8
Truth #16: As Alex Jones has now been fined a billion dollars for his lies, that is nothing compared to the punishment other Republicans are going to get on November 8th.
Truth #17: Early Voting, Mail-in Voting, Dropbox Voting — These Were Made for Libs, Hard Workers, Book Readers, Artists, Busy Parents, Slackers, and Progressives like us! In other words, The Majority!
Truth #18: The Good Queen vs. The Mad King
Truth #19: A Workers' Revolt Extends to the Voting Booth
Truth #20: We Are in Charge
Truth #21: Don’t believe it.
Truth #22: If the election is about inflation and the economy, THANK GOD — We Win
Truth #23: We Believe in Science. And that’s why we will win.
Truth #24: Vote Local, Win National
Truth #25: The side with the best nursery rhymes wins.
Truth #26: We Will Win Because Americans Don’t Want to See This Happen...
Truth #27: We are going to win because our side has millions of good souls like this…
Truth #28: Whackadoodle No More
Truth #29: They’ve Got Big Plans That We’ve Gotta Stop
Truth #30: Turn Off the News! Stop Reading the Paper! They’re Filling Your Head with Mush.
Truth #31: If I Had a Hammer
Truth #32: This Is All You Need to Know
Truth #33: Let Me Call Your Non-voting Brother-in-Law!
Truth #34: Deep Down, You Know You’re Being Played
Truth #35 (today, Thu Nov 3): The Kids Are All Right
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”The Obvious” that we’re settling on, once and for all, in The Music Box today is: “What is the Greatest Hair Metal Band of All Time?”
And, clearly, it’s Poison.
I didn’t say the “best” band, though. There is a difference the length of Tommy Lee’s tallywacker between “Greatest Hair Metal Band of All Time” and “Best Band of the Hair Metal Era.”
We can debate the latter later. But Poison is the Greatest Hair Metal Band of All Time because of the following:
They looked like this:
Their music? Simplistic to the extreme, ensuring they’d be named as the first band that countless beginning mid-’80s guitarists and drummers ever mastered. And yet it was crunchy, boppy, sassy—even slinky sometimes. Not so conducive to headbanging, but wildly conducive to general partying…and even, dare I say, dancing?
Their lyrics? Ribald enough to titillate teens, but not raunchy enough for parents to disallow. And they sang about what every kid was doing at that time when their eyes weren’t glued to Dial MTV: flirting with potential sweethearts (yes, kids, on a telephone) and maybe even securing a smooch at school.
Their songs? On the whole? Great! Just great. Never outstanding…although it’s hard to argue with six Billboard Top 10 songs in the U.S., including the No. 1 “Every Rose Has Its Thorn.” But the tunes were catchy. Easy to like. Joyous, even. And easy to sing along to.
(If you had to pick one song that epitomizes the ‘80s hair metal power ballad, it’d probably be “Thorn.” Although I much prefer Warrant’s “Heaven.” What’s your favorite?)vs.
The band themselves? Also easy to like. They each had distinct looks and personalities—singer Bret Michaels and guitarist C.C. DeVille, in particular. DeVille was the wildman with the obnoxious Brooklyn accent, mile-a-minute pentatonic solos, and otherwise in-your-face playing and performance style. And Michaels was a human wink, purring and flirting with the audience in a cocky but also self-deprecating way that was endlessly appealing (until Rock of Love, at least).
Poison mayyyyyybe squeaks into the Top 35 of the Best Bands of the Hair Metal Era list. But when it comes to representing everything that made hair metal what it was—fun, mainly—Poison stand tall as the #1 bad boys of the movement: the Greatest Hair Metal Band of All Time.